top 5 things to do today if you live in the countryside

1. befriend an animal*

2. write to your MP

3. have a romp in a meadow with a farmhand

4. do a bit of digging

5. get high and try not to die of boredom

*be sure to keep it strictly platonic, no matter how bored and lonely you are

top 5 things you go through

1. doorways

2. tunnels

3. acrimonious divorce

4. puberty

5. the keyhole

top 5 horrible sounding foods

1. toad in the hole

2. grits

3. asparagus

4. bulgur

5. clotted cream

top 5 avian 'did you know's*

1. bird's can fly, but flies can't bird

2. there are over 100 types of bird, and they all have wings and lay eggs

3. however, only 1 type of bird rhymes with carrot- the parrot

4. the seagull is widely recognised as the meanest bird, as long as you're not counting Anne Robinson

5. birds are thought to have evolved directly from single-celled organisms, like all other organic life on earth

* ie, bird facts

top 5 modes of transport of the future

1. Segway

2 .Hoverboard

3. Sinclair C5

4. Jetpack

5. Teleportation